I began treatment, changed treatments, had exacerbations, went on steroids, changed treatments again, and have finally found what works for me. But it definitely took a toll on me. It is very frustrating to deal with an illness that is so unpredictable, especially because I have a tendency to plan every aspect of my life. MS was not a part of my "5-year plan" so-to-speak, but I only had two options: I allow MS to dictate how I live my life and what I accomplish, or I make adjustments as needed, and still strive towards my goals.
I have always wanted to become a physician, but after being diagnosed, I questioned that goal. I questioned whether or not I would be capable of making it, and for the first time, lost confidence in myself. I wish that I had never allowed to myself to question my abilities. After losing precious time to self-doubt, I finally realized that I have one life, and there was only one way I wanted to live it.
With the help and support of my family and friends, I regained my confidence, and am still on my way to becoming a physician. It was definitely not the path that I had envisioned for myself, but I have learned a very important lesson so far: it's not always about the ultimate goal; it's about enjoying the ride. I allow myself to have bad days, but know that these are not the defining moments of my life.
I stopped allowing MS to define who I was, and instead, use it as a way of discovering who I am.
I continue to participate in Walk MS, as the team captain of team Miracle walkers. I have volunteered at the Challenge Walk and the City-to-Shore Bike Ride. I also was an Information Resource Specialist with the Society, Peer-Support Volunteer, and spoke to newly diagnosed patients from my doctor's office.