Numbness, vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction and loss of libido: these are some of the ways that multiple sclerosis can impact your sex life. In addition to physical changes, you may also be coping with fatigue, pain and depression — not to mention the stresses that a chronic disease can place on a relationship.
To complicate matters, it can be uncomfortable to talk about these issues with a healthcare provider or even with your partner. But there are ways to maintain intimacy with multiple sclerosis and to have a healthy sex life. Read on to learn about the physical and emotional changes you may be experiencing, how they might be affecting your sex life and what to do about them if they are.
Physical changes due to MS that affect sexual function
Sexual arousal begins in the central nervous system, as the brain sends messages to the sexual organs along nerves running through the spinal cord. If MS damages these nerve pathways, it creates a disconnect between your brain and your sexual organs. This can affect your sexual response. The symptoms of this look slightly different in those assigned male and assigned female at birth.
How does MS affect men sexually?
Possible effects include altered genital sensation (numbness, pain, increased sensitivity), a delay or inability to achieve orgasm, and a delay or inability to ejaculate.
How does MS affect women sexually?
The most common problem for women with MS is low desire, but they may also experience issues with lubrication, lack of sensation, difficulties with arousal, difficulties reaching orgasm and sexual pain.
In addition to dealing with these primary physical symptoms, both women and men may also be frustrated by other physical MS symptoms — ones unrelated to the sex organs. These secondary symptoms include fatigue, spasticity, physical pain, and bowel and bladder issues.
How does MS affect LGBTQ+ people sexually?
LGBTQ+ people living with MS will also be impacted by nerve damage, MS-related fatigue and bladder issues. In addition, members of the LGBTQ+ community may have a different experience with accessing healthcare in general and sexual healthcare in particular. For instance, according to a 2020 study, people with MS who identify as LGBTQ+ reported lower comfort levels in discussing sexual health with their healthcare provider. Read one activist’s story about getting diagnosed and their advice for enacting change.
Emotional changes related to sexual function
Many emotional factors contribute to sexual dysfunction in those living with MS. These may include depression, anxiety, anger, decreased self-esteem and the stress of living with a chronic illness. MS may have shifted the roles and responsibilities within your relationship, disrupted your plans and expectations for the future, and made it harder to share uncomfortable feelings and fears.
Counseling — for you and your partner — by a mental health professional or trained sexual therapist can address both psychological and physiologic issues. The Find Doctors & Resources tool can help you find a therapist and our guide to mental healthcare includes tips for screening providers to locate one who fits your needs.